because of course i had to take the time to do this at 2am.
because i have a life and all.
we all know that i was an off and on employee of Papa John's beginning in the year of 2005.
it was my very first job ever, and the last time I was officially employed there was only two months ago in August of 2010. ive been employed there at least once every year since 2005, and i've worked at several different locations...making me a self-proclaimed expert of intelligence when it comes to this pizza chain. i even worked at this specific location where i ordered this pizza today, last being employed there in early 2009.
that being said, the last time i even ate a slice of pizza from there was years ago.
however today...today i decided that i actually really wanted a Chicken BBQ pizza.
so i walk up to the counter.
"excuse me m'am. id like a medium-sized CHBQ but with no
onions. also, light on the sauce but PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR. PLEASE evenly spread the sauce. oh yeah, is there any way you can use the chipotle bbq sauce instead of the normal?"
--"sorry m'am, im not really allowed to do that..."
"are you SURE you cant do that!? yeah okay, sure. i wont badger you about it. i dont want you to get in trouble."
--"that'll be $12.95."
so then i wait about 5 minutes and this is what im handed.
are you serious?!
let's start with the obvious.
i ordered a medium. that means, a 12-inch pizza. that means, FOUR CUTS. that means, EIGHT EVENLY-CUT SLICES.
1.) as you can see, the genius on the cut table cut this as a small, 10-inch pizza (three cuts). they arent even-cuts at all, either. -1 points.
2.) also: you can very well just tell that the dough on one side of this pizza is very fluffy, while the other side is very flat. fail. -1 points.
lets look at this from another angle, now..
now, for this i had to really take it to a whole new level of angry.
so ive come up with this color-coded system of judgement.(*for the record, this picture was taken before the one above. i was handed this pizza with the slices apart just like this.)
3.) the green
- absolutely no edge-locking of course. this crust is all over the place. quite obviously. -1 points.
4.) the red
- didn't i specifically ask for the sauce to be evenly-spread? you can see that in one area, there is barely any sauce while in another area (close to the crust), there is a load of it. this is what happens when people cant use a spoodle. -1points.
5.) the orange
- you can see that in one area, there is a ton of cheese, while in another area, there is barely any cheese. again with the even-distribution of cheese. there is also cheese all over the crust. uh-uh. -1points.
6.) the blue
- TOPPINGS. i seriously felt as if there were toppings all over one side of the pizza, while the other was meant to be just a cheese pizza.... cause there were basically no toppings on the other half. huge fail. -1points even though i should take off 2.
7.) the pink
- ONE SINGLE ONION ON MY PIZZA. think that's a piece of chicken? well guess what, it's not. im done. this is what happens when people mindlessly start putting toppings on a pizza, realize "oh damn.", and then start picking pieces off... but then accidentally leave some. -1 points, even though i should take off 5783403854 points.
so let's just say that i give this pizza a 3/10.
papa john's has a rule that if a pizza is less than an 8/10, you throw it away and make another until it's just right.yeah.
by the way, on my sticker.. my name was spelled "coi" when i clearly told her "K-O-I."
not gonna lie, pizza was pretty good cause i was starving.
in general, the nature of this entry isnt very serious at all lol.. i just was hoping jodie would read it and laugh.
i dont really care that much. even though i must admit that it pisses me off that i pay $12.95 for a papa johns pizza that im used to getting for free.... and i cant even get my choice of bbq sauce on the shit.
this shall be my first and only and last public journal entry.
tell all your friends.